“Don’t you think that you should stay at home with your children?”
“You can always earn money but the precious moments with your children cannot be replaced.”
“Don’t always think about career. Think more about your children.”
The questions a working mum receives are endless from family, friends and even colleagues. All of them asking why I am choosing my job over my children.
First of all, I need to make it clear…
That no mother in the right mind would choose to be away from their children. My children are my life, my flesh and blood. I carried them for 9 months each and they are the closest human beings to me. I will protect them with all my heart and all my life. There is nothing more in the world I would like to do than spend every waking moment with them.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I was already working with a firm for about 5 years. Throughout the course of the pregnancy, I was contemplating whether I should quit my job and be a stay at home mum. And when eventually I gave birth to my daughter, the urge to be with her and not go back to work got even stronger. I believe all working mums will know the feeling at this point.
So, I broached the subject with my husband. We had many long, hard discussions about what we both expect from the future and really took many long, hard looks into our finances. It was tough for me to make a decision because I really wanted to be with my daughter and be there for each of her milestones. But at the same time, I loved my job and had built a solid reputation there.
At the end of the day, my husband and I agreed that the best thing for the family was for me to continue with my job. We know the world we live in very well. Many families rely on dual income and ours is no different. The cost of food alone can break the bank. It is not hard to imagine the cost of bringing up a child.
I have been a working mum for 9 years now. And I have absolutely no regrets. In fact, I am grateful in more ways than one. A few years back, my husband was retrenched and it was a trying period for the whole family. But Alhamdulillah, because I was working, we managed to scrape through and survive that episode until my husband got back on his feet.
We are able to provide our three children with what is necessary and still be there in the important moments in their lives. For me, I make sure to be reach home as soon as I can. Yes, I am tired from work but I keep my energy up and spend every moment with them until they fall asleep. Off days are all about families. That is when my husband and I go all out to create beautiful memories for our children by organising little excursions and treats.
It is never easy. That is what being a mother is all about. Whether one is working or a stay at home mum, our hands are always full. I had to learn how to manage my time properly and go about life with lack of sleep. Plus, finding ways to keep my energy as high as possible. I am sure all mothers are doing the same things as I do.
I also learn not to judge anyone in the decisions they make for themselves and for their families. Every one goes through different situations and what is good for me, may not be good for you. We should give love and motivations to all sisters. May Allah give all mothers strength and patience to get through the days! Amin.